The season.

It's been close to a month since I last posted. A lot has happened since then...

The semester ended.
My parents arrived.
My cousin passed away.
Christmas came.
Christmas went.
Just like that.
And now it's New Year's Eve.

As much as I said in previous posts how much I was going to attempt to make the best of this abnormal Christmas season, and enjoy it as much as I could, I can't decide whether I was successful or not. As much as I love my entire extended family, and as much as I love spending time with them, I prefer to spend time with them when there are no strings attached, no expectations to make everyone happy. This comes from the experience with my 16-year old baby cousin (not the one that passed, that's a different post all together) at Christmas. She was not happy with the gift my sweet, Godly, wonderful, amazing grandmother gave her. The gift was my grandmother's best attempt to get my cousin exactly what she wanted, but a different brand because she couldn't find the one that had been specified. That ruined my day. My cousin has never had a strong relationship with my grandmother, and she was completely ungrateful for what she did receive, just a different brand from exactly what she had asked for. I wanted to slap her upside the head and tell her she was being a brat. I practically did in not so many words.

My goal this season was to not want to be anywhere but where I was (in the States), with no one but the people I was with (my biological extended family), doing nothing but what I did (celebrating Christmas). However, by the complicated chain of events, I wasn't successful. Oh well.

Maybe one day, some Christmas, maybe next Christmas, since I will most likely be in another part of the world with people I don't even know exist right now, I'll just spend Christmas reflecting on the birth of Christ, remembering that that's the whole reason we as Christians celebrate, because God came as an infant an infant to the world in human flesh to be crucified for my sins, me the most vile of all sinners. That will be most important to me.

I am thankful, however, for the opportunity for my family...my mom, dad, brother, and sister-in-law to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning together, that was the best part of the whole time.

Music that Makes Me Want to Move My Feet and Swing My Hips Latin Style

This afternoon on my way to class, I decided to plug in my earphones and listen to music on my third trek up the hill of the day. Yes...count them, one. two. three. So I went to play some good ol music that makes me have to concentrate real hard to not start moving my feet and swingin my hips latin style. Carlos Vives music makes me happy. He's this amazing Colombian musician that just has some awesome beats in his stuff. You are greatly missing out if you have never experienced the joy of Carlos Vives music ringing out in your ears.

Yeah, I know, my skin's as white as I'll get out, but somewhere deep down inside me there's some semblance of a Latin-loving heart that just automatically wants to turn wherever I am standing into a Salsa dancing floor every time a latin beat comes on. I wonder if it has to do with where I grew up? I think so.

Salsa...I love you.

Precious Emma

Tuesday morning, at sometime between 7:40 and 7:50 in the morning, precious little Emma Ruth Buxton came into the world as the daughter of one of my best friends.She weighed in at 5lbs 15 oz and is 18 in. long. Isn't she beautiful????

I had the opportunity to go visit all day Wednesday, and spent several hours with this beautiful child. She slept most of the day, of course, but I already love her so much. And she's not even my daughter. I can only imagine how much Jenn and Robert love her.
My prayer for Emma is that she will one day realize how much Jesus loves her and realize her need for Him to be a part of her life. That she will come to a saving faith in Him and love and obey Him in her life.

Thanksgiving and generational blessings

Psalm 100

1Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.
2Worship the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.
3Know that the LORD is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

4Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.
5For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.

God is so good. I've been thinking a lot recently on my family history. Both of my sets of grandparents were missionaries for many years in South and Central America. My parents are missionaries, and my brother and his wife will eventually probably go to the mission field, as well as myself. These are three generations of missionaries in my family history. I was talking to my grandmother the other day about my brother and myself and my cousins, and she said the thing she's most thankful for in all of her grandchildren that we all love the Lord.

I shared with her tonight before I left to come back to DBU that I believe firmly in the biblical concept of generational curses and blessings, and that I believe it's a blessing that at least three generations in my family have been called to the mission field. She told me that this generational blessing goes back to her great grandfather, who prayed that all of his offspring would be used of God. Wow! What a prayer, and God is so good and faithful to answer that. I only pray that God may find me worthy to be used of Him as well.

I also pray that my future children will be used by God, and that this blessing does not stop with me.

A Place to Call My Own

Sometimes I wish I had a place to call my own...
A place where I wouldn't have to worry about coming home from work in a bad mood and having to pretend I'm happy.
A place where I can leave my stuff in the dryer as long as I want without having to take it out or someone take it out for me and completely wrinkle it all.
A place where the kitchen would be clean all the time, and if it were messy it would be my mess and I know I would clean it up.
A place where I could have people over when I wanted them there and kick them out when I felt like being a hermit.
A place where I could unashamedly play my Spanish music loud and not get funny looks from anyone.
A place where I could cook whatever I want and not get funny looks from anyone.
A place where I could fall asleep on the couch and not care if anyone was going to walk in and see me.
A place where more than my bed would be untouched by anyone else.
A place where I could put whatever I wanted on the walls and table, displaying where I came from and who I am.
A place to call my very own.

But I don't have a place to call my very own. I share a place with 4 other precious women, and though sometimes I need a vacation, I wouldn't replace any of them with anyone. And I wouldn't trade my years with them for years of sheer and utter loneliness. I wouldn't trade the fun late-night silliness for more sleep. I wouldn't trade the admonition and advice for no one to talk to.

Holiday Season

My goal for this holiday season is to do my best and appreciate the people I am spending it with for who they are. I love my family...my mom and dad, brother and sister-in-law, my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. But the people I am used to spending the Christmas season with are in another country. They are my mission aunts, uncles and cousins, many of whom have watched me grow up since I was a toddler. I love and treasure the traditions of my mission family, so this year I will learn to love and treasure whatever semblance of traditions my biological family puts together.

Christmas in the States, throughout the years that I've been here for them...maybe four or five that I can remember out of my whole life, has always been an array of happenings. I used to look at it positively as having three Christmases in stead of just one. This year I need to learn that my family time matters more than just getting three sets of gifts.

It's interesting, too, how my love language is quality time, yet I don't really look forward to cultivating my relationship with my biological family through spending the little quality time I am able to. I need to look at my missing out on my mission family Christmas as cultivating relationships and spending quality time with my biological family.

Justifying sin.

I've been surrounded for a while by a few Christians who seem to think it's ok to justify their sins. Yes, we're all sinners, I'm in no way perfect. However, there is something very very very wrong with college students calling each other asking if the other has ever written a paper over something and if they can have it to turn in. "most CEOs cheated to get where they are at..." is their excuse. I don't want to hear it. There's also something wrong with someone getting injured and not giving the proper authorities the right information because it's not "pertinent." Yes, I'm a sucker for telling the truth and the whole truth, and I also prefer to not turn something in at all in stead of turning in someone else's work and calling it my own. Of course, these things are not sins that physically hurt other people, and are mostly needed to be dealt with by the person who is committing them, but sin is still sin, no matter who it is against. All sin is committed against God, some is committed against other human beings.

Like I said at first, I'm far from perfect, I have sin that I deal with in my own life, and it's a daily struggle that I have to keep my mind set in the right place in order to take my thoughts captive to the authority of Jesus Christ. Something my pastor has said, and it's one of my favorite lessons I have learned from him, is that the difference between sin in Believers' lives and sin in the lives of un-believers, is that believers have to make a conscious decision to sin. I've thought about this concept a lot, because of how true it is. When I commit sin, I make a conscious choice to do so. I think knowing this truth helps me to not decide to commit sin, though sometimes my flesh causes me to give in.

I guess all I'm trying to say is that, I don't understand how Christians can get off making excuses for their sinful actions.